R-Rated okay for teens?

I can tell you to start off that there is no black and white answer to this question. And I sure don't have the answer. When a youth starts out a sentence with "have you seen..." I brace myself. They want to tell me about their favorite part of "you name the R-rated movie." And often times I try to creatively change the subject.

The reality is that parents of all shapes and sizes differ on this. There are a number factors at play. 
1. Peers- if a youth's peers have seen an R rated movie and they haven't...they feel out of the loop. So they want to see such and such movie so they can feel more a part. I get that because I have been there!
2. Youth think they are mature enough. They feel like they have reached a growth level to which they can "handle" the language, sexual content, and violence.
3. They will watch R rated movies anyway.
4. How much damage can two hours really do?

Given these realities it is easy to to give in and say open the door to movies with endless, inappropriate content. How much damage could it really do? They will eventually be old enough anyways.

There is a scripture 1 Corinthians 10:23 says,"  'All things are lawful,' But not all things are beneficial. 'All things are lawful," but not all things build up.' " As I have grown older I realize that we have created an imaginary line of adulthood and childhood. For me I can legally watch any movie I want. But I know that they are not all beneficial.

To me it is all about being informed. Because one can't completely shut off your youth from the world of violence, language, and sexual content. Even in popular sitcoms there is a slew of sexual content and language that is often times slyly inserted.

Communicating and researching the context of any movie is a smart plan and being able to tell your youth why it isn't appropriate whether they like it or not.  (and I need to ask myself the SAME questions... is this movie appropriate for me?) Is their anything beneficial in Saw 4?

Telling a youth "no" I realize is not a popular decision but to me it is what makes parents heroes. I remember in my tenth grade year of High School I was invited to a party at friend's house. This was my first high school party. I knew there would be drinking and I planned to drink. My mom (a high school teacher) had insider knowledge about this party and they told me I couldn't go (while some parents... just told their kids yes). I was angry at my parents for standing in the way. Now as I look back on that experience I am grateful. They stood in the way of a negative experience.

Sometimes youth won't understand now the importance of hearing "no" but I know they will some day.

Like I said this is not a black and white issue. And I am not a parent! But I have spent quite a lot of time around a variety of youth.

Would you be willing to reply to this post and tell us the rules in your house? I think the wisdom of parents can be incredibly helpful!

Click for an article from both teens and parents.
Click here for an article on one Christian's view on R Rated movies

Teach with your life!

First thanks to all the parents that came out last night! I can't tell you what a meaningful time I had last night getting to share in the goodness of community together as families. I am grateful for each of you! And so blessed that God has done good work in our midst this past year! And looking forward to this year! 

Our mission at PGUMC youth is to be a place where Jesus abides. We want to cultivate an environment where youth are loved, encouraged, and inspired!

This isn't a new idea but should be the reality. It is the precedent Jesus set and it is the one we try to fall in line with everything we do from youth group to Great Wolf Lodge to serving others. I realize that when we recognize that we are loved and valued our potential is at it's greatest. No circumstance or difficulty can get us down. And at the end of the day when youth are apart of the UMYF community I hope in some sense they feel loved and encouraged.

Our theme verse this year is from 1 Timothy 4:12 here is how it reads in the message, "And don't let anyone put you down because you're young. Teach believers with your life: by word, by demeanor, by love, by faith, by integrity... Cultivate these things. Immerse yourself in them."

The temptation for youth is simply to buy into the idea that they are not worth much to the world since they are a kid or their lack of achievement. But the bible says despite these realities that we are to stand up and set the example. To be a leader. And we do this even when people look down on us.

I am always reminded when facing difficulty that it is the depth of our character that defines our outcome in whatever situation. And I believe this about our youth that they can be great leaders at their school, on their sports teams, with their friends and at the end of the day continuing to cultivate an environment where Jesus abides.

the Perfect Christian Family

I wonder what the Perfect Christian family looks like. Is it a family that has everything together? Their kids perfectly obey them? Are they always happy? Is it one where the family sits down together to pray and read scripture? This is way to perfect! Yet somehow this has become the standard bearer for a lot of Christian families. So families who are hurting and struggling find themselves in the midst of trying to hold it all together so they can look "perfect." Yet this is so often the image for which we strive. But what I read in the bible is about families following God in the midst of their messiness.

 You would have thought that the first family (Adam and Eve) had some freshness and might have lacked the craziness of the modern day family. Cain and Abel who are Adam and Eve's first children ended up having a not so happy story. Cain gets mad at Abel and leads him out in to a field and kills him. Great! The first families kids literally kill each other.

 And then one might assume that Jesus was the best and sweetest child in the world. Yet in Luke 2 a story is told where the family makes a journey to Jerusalem. Then the family leaves with a big group of people and Mary and Joseph days in to the journey realize that Jesus is not with them. All the while 12 year old Jesus is teaching back in Jerusalem and everyone is amazed except his parents! This is what Mary and Joseph said to the savior of the world, "Child, why have you treated us like this? Listen! Your father and I have been worried. We've been looking for you?" Even the Son of God has family issues! Jesus' relationship with his family and his calling were at often times at odds.

 Last Sunday we talked about that a healthy family brings life. In the ten commandments it says that if you honor your father and mother your days will be long! Now a healthy family is not what I described above. It is far from it. No a healthy family recognizes that we all have issues to sort through just like any other family. Scripture teaches that we share in each other sufferings and bare one another burdens. This is what Jesus did on the cross. And it through this way that we find life. Not by hiding behind the illusion of so called perfection.

My Parent's Are Driving Me Nuts!

I am so excited about what God is doing in the life of our youth ministry and super excited to share in that life in 2013 as we look forward. I hope you have had the chance to read our Summer Mission Trip email. There is nothing sweeter than serving others in the name of Jesus. We will take sometime at our Parent/Youth Potluck to shed some more light on upcoming mission trips and other events in 2013!

We are starting a new 3 week series called "My Parent's Are Driving Me Nuts!" We will be looking at how loving Jesus and being a good son, daughter, brother, and sister go hand in hand. But at the same time this might be the toughest task for a youth! I know it was for me as I reflect growing up in my family. 

I didn't grow up in the picture perfect family and I am guessing that most of you didn't as well. And I don't believe such a family exists! 

My role in my family at it's worst was me not doing my chores, back talking, yelling, throwing tantrums... basically all the things involved in not making life fun for my parents. And at its best my parents were there for me... comforting me and being for me when life seemed to be crashing down. They were my biggest fans. 

Learning to love my family (and who God created my parents to be) and learning to listen and be patient I can say by far have been the HARDEST spiritual disciplines to learn. Hopefully we can make some traction with the youth in the next three youth groups. 

Here is the topics for each week: 

1. Family is the greatest metaphor for life

2. Are you apart of the solution or the problem

3. God heals our pain: how we deal with pain in the midst of our families

Looking forward to journeying alongside your youth! 

God is here.

Advent is by far my favorite season because it teaches a deep truth. It teaches us that if we put our bodies, minds, hearts, and souls in the right place... God will do amazing things through and for us. 

God uses a 14 year old girl named Mary who is engaged to be married in which to bring forth the Messiah in to this world. The savior of the world enters in to our skin in the same way that we all enter. 

But it is not without scandal. A pregnant, unmarried girl has suspicion written all over it. With all the room to doubt and fear Mary chooses to put her heart and soul in to obedience to what God was calling her to do. 

Her obedience doesn’t just carry weight for Mary herself but impacts all of humanity. It impacts us. 

This doesn’t mean that God’s grace is circumstantial but when we choose to let God mold us and shape us to BE the kind of people he has called us to be we are all better for it.  We can trust that he will work good out of what often times is our mess when we say here I am God mold and shape me. 

Tomorrow on Christmas Eve we will light the Christ candle. Making a bold statement that “God is here.” And how is the world to know this? By the way we treat each other, carry each others burdens, and the strength of our love for each other. For in these actions we are being Christ for each other. Displaying what Paul says in Ephesians that we are all God’s workmanship. 

And Jesus doesn’t look at all the places we fall short and condemn our actions with hate. But instead it says in Ephesians,”Because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ...in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.” 

I am so grateful for all the God is doing in and through our community at Pleasant Green and I wait with an expectant hope for what is next! Merry Christmas!

Raising the Perfect Child

I wonder what the perfect child looks like. Is it a child that does everything we say they should do? Says yes ma'am and yes sir? A child that doesn't perpetually question your authority? Or try to convince you, you are a bad parent if you don't cave in to their demands?

I know I was nowhere near this child for my parents. I always went out of my way to not do what my parents said, or wait till the last minute to do my chores because I had other priorities (video games of course!). Yet when it was time to go hang out with friends and I needed money I some how felt I earned it. Now as I look back I ponder, "how selfish could I be?"

My late grandmother and late aunt would always tell me in the most serious of voices to "love and respect my mom and dad for all they have done for me." Back then I seemed to tune them out when ever I felt a lecture coming on... now I take every word seriously (or at least try).

As I reflect on all these issues thinking that sometimes being a parent must be really awesome. A mountain top type of experience! I could only imagine being a parent is exhausting and emotionally draining.

So with all this said and in the spirit of advent where we reflect on what it means to be expectant for a savior in the midst of all the things that are "not yets." I want to tell you how grateful am for all of you parents. How in awe and inspired I am with the depth of character so many of you carry. It shines through your kids even in the midst of their "imperfections" (or telling them ten times to do something). I know all your kids are "not there yet" but man do I have hope they will lead lives of greatness.

I heard recently I think it was on the Steve Harvey show of all places. And he said that some folks say don't put all your eggs in one basket. But on the contrary if you really believe in something and you believe that the foundation is there you have every right to put all your eggs in to one basket! I believe I can put all my eggs in to one basket!

I believe God is doing great things in the lives of families here at Pleasant Green UMC. And I celebrate you and your youth this Christmas. Today I am simply grateful... I couldn't ask for anything more.

UMYF Christmas Party!!!!

This week is the UMYF Christmas Party!! And it is going to be awesome.

If your youth brings a friend both of them will be entered in to a drawing of a $50 gift card of their choice! Also each person should bring a gender neutral gift of $10 or less. 

This past week we re-enacted the Christmas story as told by Luke and Matthew. We will show the full movie this Sunday, but here is trailer for what is to come. Starring your youth... and me as Mary. We had a wealth of boys last Sunday but not many girls... so I ended having to play Mary. It was the roll of a lifetime...

Enjoy!